With the upcoming Bitcoin fork, I think we need to invoke "The Satoshi Prayer" (in comments)
"Our Father, which art in the Blockchain, Hallowed be thy Node. Thy Moon will come. Thy Hash will be done, on earth, as it is encrypted. Give us this day our daily coin. And forgive us our DDoSes, as we forgive them that DDoS against us. And lead us not into regulation, but deliver us from fiat currency inflation. For Thine is the Ledger, the Processing Power, and the Wattage. For ever and ever. Bitcoin" Credit to @apokerplayer23 PS: Changed the Amen to Bitcoin. It's more fitting I think.
The 7th floor, mastering yourself and riding the higher energies
Previous post. - So what you in for, brother? - Eternity. - Ooooh. That's a really long time. Must've did some really bad shit. - Yeah. I sold my soul. - Hope you got something good for it. - As a matter of fact I got nothing for it. - Well that's a really bad deal if you ask me. - Well I'm not asking you. - Doesn't really matter though. Can't sell your soul anyway. - Oh really? Why do you say that? - Cause it doesn't really belong to you in the first place. No way no how. - So who does it belong to? - It belongs to God. That universal spirit that animates and binds all things in existence. Hmph. Devil gonna try to confuse you, but that's her game. But in the end you gonna see clear who and what you are and what you're here to do. Now, you gon' make some mistakes along the way, everybody does. If you just open up your heart and open up your mind heh...you'll get it. - Who are you? - Just a friend brother. Just a really good friend. Scene from the movie Bedazzled There's a lot of spiritual things on this sub and spiritual and mystic knowledge interwoven with science. At the highest levels, it's just knowledge, knowledge much of humanity is not ready for. At the highest levels real science and real spirituality need no conflict whatsoever. But, the ancients lived in a very different world and the focus was on faith and opening of the heart. Many words and ideas did not exist, many yogis had insights into phenomenal things but then had to explain in words that are just... not enough. Stories and allegories and creatures both real and made up. Still they were very clever and created incredible ways of transferring the knowledge, keeping it and so on. Who here can without googling and beyond a shadow of a doubt explain how the cellphone works? You kind of know but you don't really know it. Some people do, schematics exist, there's these towers that beam around energies, idk man, all I know is I neeeed 7G so I can download holograms by my mind OK? Leave me alone! (lol) If you tried to explain it to people from 200 years ago they would absolutely know - not think - that you're crazy, possibly even dangerous. People can talk across the oceans and the mountains with some squarish device? Instantly send photos? Oh sure! And I'm guessing they can even fly around while eating tasty foods and looking down at the Earth? You need your dome checked. But anyway, as you start to master your sexual energies by first not being a complete out of control degenerate staring at all the titties and assess and eating way too much food and garbage food etc, you're now starting to totally change your power levels, your blood purity and state etc. This is all explained here brilliantly by some great people. And the knowledge is out there in many ways, check out my previous posts to find books as well to download. So, what of the higher energies? Once you've mastered yourself to a degree on the lower levels you will start to naturally move into those realms. You are anyway attracting and creating things, even in your worst state. In your optimal state, things move faster and better, but also all the previous work now come to shine and if you haven't done it you will create havoc. The movie Bruce Almighty brilliantly and in a comical way deals with this. Though the movie is on one level a simple comedy, anyone well versed in the ancient lore, gnostic knowledge and his own experiences will clearly see the many deeper messages. Bruce Nolan is a television field reporter for Eyewitness News on WKBW-TV in Buffalo, New York, but desires to be the news anchorman. When Bruce is passed over for promotion by his rival, Evan Baxter, he becomes furious, his actions leading to his dismissal from the station, followed by a series of misfortunes. Bruce complains to God that "He's the one that should be fired". Bruce receives a message on his pager, which takes him to an empty warehouse where he meets God. In the empty room at the floor level, he sees this sign. https://preview.redd.it/ey07b2fapno51.png?width=684&format=png&auto=webp&s=878c28a8463a2395fb27a4d171133c800ff6d202 There doesn't seem to be anything else in the room except the sign "stairway" and a guy moping the floor. The guy is God himself, portrayed as Morgan Freeman. https://preview.redd.it/qc8svcj2qno51.png?width=723&format=png&auto=webp&s=06b57c8e0c052df21471128b3767083989149707 An interesting conversation plays out: - You’re looking for room 7. - Yeah, I figured. - Want me to even those up for you? (Bruce's pants) - How do I get to room 7? - That’d be on the 7 th floor. (this is obviously obvious, but that's why it's emphasised. The main character wants to get to the 7th floor - have control and success in his life - but keeps avoiding the obvious - the climb up there) - The stairs are right over there. - I’d rather take the elevator. (a shortcut, like all the other shortcuts in his life) - Out of order. - Love the stairs though, they were my second choice. - You mind giving me a hand with this floor? (God asks him for help cleaning up the floor but Bruce of course is "busy". He postpones it and God says - I'll hold you to it) - What? That’s good. Are you serious? Oh, I… I’m kinda busy. Amm… Raincheck? - I’ll hold you to it. (....) - I’m trying to fix a light. - Tell me if it’s working. - Yeah. Seems to be. Kinda bright though. - Yeah. It is to most people who spend their lives in the dark trying to hide from me. - Oh, the elevator’s broken, huh? - Yeah, but… I’ll get around to it. https://preview.redd.it/pp5nkzmwrno51.png?width=608&format=png&auto=webp&s=b54136584c5b72945a697f0179129dbb4e3dfcee On the 7th floor there's only a ladder leading up to an opening - the 8th floor above the 7th chakra from which God, still dressed as the janitor, comes down. The light is stunning, super-powerful. God then reveals to Bruce that he knows everything, and by that he means literally everything - every thought he ever had, every lie, truth, bluff, etc. It's symbolically all in a file cabinet. The last file is a taunt to God given by Bruce. Now, God gives Bruce the joystick of his life - the shortcut that he's been looking for. He gives him utter and direct power over reality itself, except other people's free will. As everyone carries in him a spark of that One, they have freedom of choice - that's the rules of the game. He also can't just tell anyone he has these powers. Bruce is initially jubilant with the powers, using them for personal gain, such as by getting his job back, and impressing his girlfriend, Grace Connelly. Bruce finds ways of using his powers around Buffalo to cause miraculous events to occur at otherwise mundane events that he covers, such as discovering Jimmy Hoffa's body or causing a meteor to harmlessly land near a cook-off, earning him the name "Mr. Exclusive". Bruce then causes Evan to embarrass himself on-air, causing Evan to be fired in favor of Bruce as the new anchor. During this, Bruce continues to hear voices in his head. He later re-encounters God, who explains the voices are prayers, meant for God, that Bruce must deal with. Bruce creates a computerized email-like system to receive the prayers and respond but finds that the influx is far too many for him to handle —even though God has stated that Bruce is only receiving prayers from the Buffalo area— and sets the program to answer every prayer Yes automatically. Bruce attends a party celebrating his promotion. When Grace arrives, she finds Bruce kissing his co-anchor, Susan Ortega, after she forcefully comes on to him, and quickly leaves. Bruce follows her, trying to use his powers to convince her to stay but cannot influence her free will. As Bruce looks around, he realizes that Buffalo has fallen into chaos due to his actions: parts of the city believe the Apocalypse is nearly upon Earth due to the meteor strikes, while a large number of people, all having prayed to win the multi-million dollar lottery and finding they all won reducing their prize to a few dollars, have started rioting in the streets. Bruce returns to God, who explains that He cannot solve all the problems and Bruce must figure out a way himself. Bruce returns to his computer system at his home and goes about answering prayers as best he can. As Bruce reads through them, he finds a prayer from Grace, wishing for his success and well-being. As Bruce reads it, another prayer from Grace arrives, this one wishing not to be in love with him anymore. Bruce is stunned and walks alone on a highway, asking God to take back his powers and letting his fate be in his hands. Bruce is suddenly hit by a truck and regains his consciousness in a white void. God appears, and He asks Bruce what he really wants; Bruce admits that he only wants to make sure Grace finds a man that would make her happy. God agrees, and Bruce finds himself in the hospital, where doctors help him recover. Grace arrives, in which she and Bruce finally rekindle their relationship and later become engaged. Following his recovery, Bruce returns the anchor position to Evan and goes back to his field reporting, but decides to take more pleasure in the simple stories. We see that Bruce is overwhelmed and both his inner and outer reality start to totally collapse and cause pain. He has taken a massive shortcut to too much power and responsibility that he can't even handle when it comes to one city, much less the world. His failure is even bigger considering he literally has God powers and still fails - that's double the failure. Interestingly, the actor Jim Carrey claimed famously on the Oprah show he used the Law Of Attraction himself. On higher energies and higher positions, you also have higher challenges and responsibilities. People look up to you. Just because your eyes sparkle and you can now strangely influence people, what are you doing and where will it lead? The higher you go, people also expect you to be some kind of Christ like figure, with no mistakes and blemish, which is even harder. Martin Luther for example was a sure retainer, in the sense that he didn't fap, but he cheated on his wife. He was a great leader, he inspired millions and changed history - but he was human. Malcolm X famously said that in prison he "lost his sight (he started wearing glasses from reading too much) but he gained his vision!" Gandhi did his crazy niece experiment and of course did some mistakes (now mind you, weaker and lower people will not only judge you, they will even judge from the future, living in a totally different time). Connor Mcgregor is very probably a retainer in the sense he understands the benefits but he also leads a violent life and drinks etc, so he's riding these high energies and often corrupting them. That is why his life is in turmoil and has ups and downs: he's accused of rape over and over, he donates 10000$ to a dying kid, he punches and old man for disagreeing with him, he builds a shelter for homeless, he embarrasses himself in a fight etc. etc. "YoucannotdrinkthecupoftheLordandthecupofdemons too; youcannothave a part in both theLord'stable and the table of demons." Corinthians 10:21 The yogis have a brilliant story as well, thousands of years old, of a man waking up in heaven (astral reality where things immediately happen) and he turns it into hell because his mind is untrained. I hope at least the knowledge of semen retention and self mastery will truly spread and start being applied more and more in the world. Next post.
01-18 16:13 - 'We are going to make prayer so BTC price could up. Donate 10-USD. We will buy some food for homeless and poor people, will ask them to pray that BTC rate could go up.' (self.Bitcoin) by /u/jillmoney007 removed from /r/Bitcoin within 0-4min
[uncensored-r/Bitcoin] We are going to make prayer so BTC price could up. Donate 10-USD. We will buy some food for homel...
The following post by jillmoney007 is being replicated because the post has been silently greylisted. The original post can be found(in censored form) at this link: np.reddit.com/ Bitcoin/comments/7rapl6 The original post's content was as follows:
[uncensored-r/Bitcoin] Our Lord’s Prayer (Too good not to share)
The following post by ThisIsABeginning is being replicated because the post has been silently removed. The original post can be found(in censored form) at this link: np.reddit.com/ Bitcoin/comments/7lnl9o The original post's content was as follows:
[uncensored-r/Bitcoin] Prayer candle to Bitcoin Jesus for hodl power.
The following post by tropicalthug is being replicated because the post has been silently removed. The original post can be found(in censored form) at this link: np.reddit.com/ Bitcoin/comments/7cce3m The original post's content was as follows:
Hi! I'm the solo developer of a social media platform, new religious movement, and religious organization. I've been working on this since early 2019. I've only told a few dozen people about it and I'm looking for feedback. Please ask me anything. Thanks!
A lot of this text was originally to be posted to changemyview because I'm looking to be challenged on my assumptions here, and my approach. I checked with the mods there and I can't find a way not to post it as promotion (which would violate the subreddit rules). The I considered posting it in philosophy and IAmA and it was a similar answer. To be clear: I support their decisions to not allow this post. There's a lot of reasons to be concerned about someone running up and saying "Hey! Do you wanna hear about my religion?" and I have total respect for anyone who says "No." I reached out to casualiama a few hours ago and haven't heard back. If they decide to lock or remove this I support their decision and will try another subreddit. I welcome lots and lots of questions about this project, I believe this project will be helpful, but I am open to having my view about the viability of this project changed. This is a big weird thing and I've been focusing on it alone for long time. This work has probably had a big impact on my objectivity. This didn't used to exist and maybe it doesn't need to. Or maybe it has some irredeemable flaw that I've failed to consider. I don't want to see this get launched if that's the case. The main cost of this project has been my time, and I've learned enough while doing it to justify the time spent on it even if I'm convinced this project isn't viable. I can't make any more progress alone and I need new people to get involved. This can change and it can evolve as it grows because I've tried to build it to be guided by new people. I hope that I've done a good job of building it that way. The fastest way to learn about this in order to ask me questions is by visiting the website. https://churchofearth.org/ (I sure hope that this post does well and I've set up the site well enough to accommodate the traffic.) (This text will contain many links to the website) (I'm really nervous about this)
Why have I done this?
I would describe this effort as coming out of the part of my brain that would be firing if I were an active survivalist/doomsday prepper. In 2019 I became very concerned about the state of the world, especially as I thought about what it will look like for the remainder of my life. It seemed logical to amass skills and resources in order to protect myself and the people around me. I had never focused on my own survival because I've lived a life of privilege, and then I realized that there were scenarios where my privilege would not protect me. During that research phase I came to the conclusion that I couldn't just turn inward. As people turn inward our shared challenges become harder to address. I started looking more into the good work people were doing all over the world. I looked outward for inspiration. There's lots of folks doing lots of amazing work trying to solve our shared challenges. At every level of society, in every region, in big ways and small ways. This is often a very helpful world. I started researching things and became less pessimistic about the future of our world. This doesn't mean there aren't a pile of challenges for us to solve, it means that I'm better able to see the people trying to solve our shared challenges. When I couldn't see them (and wasn't looking for them) the future of our world seemed much worse. I still see the darkness, and it's scary and overwhelming and huge, but now I see more light. This project represents what I was able to build with the skills and experience I had. This project started out as just a social media platform intended to connect people who wanted to help. While I was building that I discovered a faith within myself about the future. The new religious movement is the structure I've built to help grow this faith. It's based on religious humanism, which has been a thing for several hundred years. I stopped working heavily on this project in late 2019, and formally stopped on February 1st of 2020. I started it up again in April of 2020. There's a short post about it here.
Help others and you'll live in a more helpful world.
Improve yourself and you'll improve the world.
Consume less and you'll value what you have more.
People who feel the faith of the Church of Earth are called Helpers. There are no rituals to join this faith, although anyone can make rituals. Anyone can identify themselves as a Helper. Don't judge them by who they say they are, judge them by what they do. In their acts of faith they should be trying to help you, and only if you consent to their help. This faith is optional. No one can be forced to adopt this faith. You can't force a more helpful world on people, you can only help them build it.
The social media platform
The social media platform is built to help people grow this religion. It allows them to focus on activities that relate to the core beliefs of the Church of Earth. People do not need to share this faith to use this platform or use its features. The platform is anonymous. There are no user profiles. Every type of module can inspire almost any other type of module. The modules all have different functionality. This platform is complex software. Social Media Platforms like Facebook and Twitter are designed to be simple and addictive. Those are deliberate design choices intended to serve the goals of the organizations that built them. These goals relate to revenue generation through the use of user data. This organization has different goals, and one of those goals involves promoting hard work. There will be a learning curve with this platform. I'm the only one who has used it so far and I've probably failed to consider a lot of things. This platform will change over time as more skills and knowledge improve its construction. This platform can be considered one of our great works. I can tell you right now people will find a number of bugs on the platform. I am expecting something unexpected, critical, and stressful to happen once people start visiting this site. Please be kind and patient with this platform, and with me. I'm very tired. Upvotes/Downvites/Likes/Dislikes: The purpose of this platform is to help grow a more helpful world. The upvote/downvote button labels are: This is Helpful and This is Not Helpful. Everything added to this platform should be helpful, every post includes fields where you can describe who you're trying to help, and why. There are a limited number of votes that can be given every day. Creating content increases your votes for the day. The platform has the following modules:
Scriptures - journaling functionality intended to allow you to explore a subject. This could be a journal entry about your personal development, or a short story, or some introspection, or anything helpful you can possible think of that would be a lot of text. - Infographic
Sermons - Brief text snippets or links to external resources intended to inspire other users. This module is how we link to other sites, share other content, or say short messages.
Goals - Things you want to get done. You can add to the organizations goals, and the goals for the website. We can all work together. - Infographic
Prayers - Requests for help. If you need something you can ask the platform and hopefully someone will see it and help you. You can list the type of help you need. It's up to you to be realistic about what can be done on this platform. If your prayers aren't getting answered there are other tools to help you solve some problems. - Infographic
Rituals - Things you do alone or in groups to help you accomplish tasks or focus yourselves. Our species uses rituals to greet and communicate with each other. We have rituals that are events, or meals. We have rituals that involve many people singing or performing an action. The Church of Earth has not created any official rituals.
Missions - Events intended to bring people together to offer help in their communities. These can have rituals attached to them so that people know what social structure is expected when they meet.
The Gospel of the Church of Earth All of the content we create can be connected in a big, anonymous web of helpfulness. Any content type can inspire any other content type, except for prayers. Prayers can only be answered (publicly or privately depending on the type of prayer.) Blog posts by the Church of Earth can inspire content from users. The goals of the Church of Earth appear in the same module as the goals of individual users of this platform. Intentions When you post something you have to say who you think you're helping, and why. You also need to select a subcategory like "I am being thoughtful" or "I am being creative" or "I am being inspirational" or "I am being critical". This will help other users understand how to react to you in a way that contributes to meaningful interactions. It's just me right now, so that's pretty funny and awkward The platform is live. Anyone can create content. Accounts can only create one piece of content until their first contribution receives a vote by another user saying "This is Helpful". There are currently no users on the platform. I've created content but there's no one to say if it's helpful so I'm still a pending user. On September 24th, 1 year after I first posted the 3 core beliefs to the site, 5% of all pending users will be selected at random and added to the site. Those people will then be able to use the site, but their profiles will not indicate they were among the First Five. My account isn't any more likely to be added than anyone else. This is an act of faith. It doesn't take a lot of people to make big things happen and we're all capable of amazing things. That is the message this platform has been designed to share. Note: That doesn't mean there won't be an effort to understand the impact of spam comments, or content that violates the terms of service for this site. They'll be transparent though. It's unreasonable to think that people won't do silly things with a site like this on the internet. Silly things are fun. One of the "intentions" of the site is "the be creative".
The religious organization
This organization will have a different look depending on how successful it is. I've built it in the hope it will see a meaningful amount of adoption, but all of that can be scaled down and still be helpful. Even if it's just me feeling this way for the rest of my life I consider it a meaningful improvement to my worldview and personality. I'm fairly confident some unknown quantity of other people will also see the value in this and that we can build something together. The Church of Earth organization is the least planned out because it needs to be developed by people with greater specialization than me. The main points are this:
Governance will be handled democratically, through the Church of Earth platform, and it will include a random selection of top candidates. (This functionality hasn't been built yet)
There will be term limits for everyone. Especially me.
Governance of the organization will include people who do not identify as Helpers.
Compensation of employees will be nonstandard as well. Employees will be given baseline salaries for the region they live in, regardless of their role, and everyone will qualify for bonuses that will be given out by other employees.
Here's an infographic about this. The organization will be structured like a nonprofit and will prioritize pursuing goals that align with the 3 core beliefs of the Church of Earth faith. It will require donations, but the hope is that it will eventually develop revenue to be self sufficient. I have some ideas for revenue generation. They're not super innovative, they're just taking relevant things and doing them in a way that promotes the faith of the Church of Earth as it operates as a nonprofit entity in a capitalist economy. This business model is well developed in North America by other religious institutions. These are the best ideas I've come up with, but none of them can proceed until I find people more qualified than me to do this. It's very likely that I've failed to consider elements of these proposals.
Education: It should be possible to teach many subjects from a religiously helpful perspective. Helping people is a secular act, but the help at the core of the faith of the Church of Earth is not. On top of teaching specific programs from a helpful perspective, there could also be a seminary school where Preachers are trained.
Property Management: The Church of Earth can own property similarly to other non-profits or religious organizations. They can be governed in transparent and helpful ways. This can be as simple as free wifi, or as complex as community gardens and shared maintenance duties in order to build and maintain a small regional community.
The website can be modified to enable a lot of this stuff, including a transparent overview of building finances, public space scheduling and communications. Once we build a template for a type of property and its amenities, we can look for other properties to offer a similar experiences.
The physical structure that represents the Church of Earth in a region is called a Community Guild. These can have rental spaces similar to other community centers or churches, they'll also be hubs for community activity facilitated through the website.
Cryptocurrency: Because the amount of activity that can be accomplished on the platform per day is limited, we can create and assign a cryptocurrency token like Bitcoin whenever someone says "This is Helpful" and maintain a digital economy. Users of the platform can be paid to be helpful, and possibly engage in their faith if that applies to them.
This is by no means developed. There are a lot of hurdles to overcome before this can happen. I am very aware of the fact that what I'm proposing here is that a religious organization can create its own internal economy.
What should you know about me?
I wish I could be like Satoshi Nakamoto. That's the pseudonym of the person who created Bitcoin. We don't know for sure who actually created the code. They just worked on it, put it out there, and it went on to become something amazing and complex. I spent a long time trying to figure out how to do that with the Church of Earth. I absolutely love everything about this project but I want to minimize my involvement in it. I also think there will be negative impacts on me, and this organization, if people focus on me instead of the faith. The Church of Earth is about what everyone can do, together. I'm no more special than anyone else. I'm terribly imperfect. I'm also a 39 year old white Canadian guy. While I've faced many struggles I've lived a life of privilege. I don't speak for everyone, or to everyone. No one can. People face problems I couldn't even consider. My ability to help those people directly is limited, but I have the skillset required to build something that would allow others to help them. The world is hard, and harsh, and frustrating, and scary. It's also wonderful and amazing and beautiful. I think that if we all work together we can spend the rest of our lives deliberately building a better world for everyone, in big ways and small ways. Knowing that's happening makes me happy and it motivates me to work harder. I wasn't a religious person until I discovered this faith within myself. This faith has allowed me to focus myself towards something that I believe is helpful to my community. I think it can do the same for others. What do you think? Thanks for reading. Ask me anything, please.
Sep 29th: Trump and Biden Debate Oct 2nd: In the early morning Trump declares he has caught covid. At 6:15pm the same day he transfers to Walter Reed out of an abundance of caution. Oct 5th: No information has been shared with the public. A report is released that an anonymous internal source within the hospital has said the presidents condition has been changed to 'Poor'. Oct 6th: Mike Pence cancels participation in the Vp debate to focus on efforts to keep whitehouse running while Trump in hospital. Oct 8th: Late in the evening the Whitehouse releases a report that the presidents condition has been moved to Critical. Oct 9th: Mike Pence and the needed majority of principal officers invoke the 25th amendment and remove President Trump from Office. Mike Pence is now the POTUS. Oct 12th: Mitch McConnell announces the updated Republican election plans. Trump will stay as the candidate. When he wins Pence, now once again VP, will immediately invoke the 25th a second time. No other message is spoken about for the next two weeks. In large the legal communities head explodes. Oct 26th: President Pence picks Mitt Romney for his Vice President. Romney is quickly confirmed. Oct 30th: The morning of the 30th Biden's presence is questioned. He hasn't been seen in two weeks. He makes a public announcement that evening that shortly after the debate had come down with covid symptoms and chosen to self quarantine. In his public announcement he looks very healthy alert and energetic. Overall the public is unhappy for the betrayal in trust by not being notified of the quarantine. Nov 1st: Pence has a live televised prayer for the health of Donald J. Trump. He reminds Americans that Trump needs their votes. Nov 2nd: A picture of what appears to be President Trump on a respirator is leaked to the media. Covid still ravages the US. Nov 3rd: Election Day. Trump wins again. With the understanding a vote for Trump was a vote for Pence, the 'centrics' of America hard pivoted away from Biden. Democrats do take majority in both House and Senate. Nov 26th: Thanksgiving Mike Pence pardons turkey, gives thanks, makes special thanks to Newly Elected Justice. Dec 1st: With no reports on the health of Donald Trump, his businesses and assets in the State of New York are liquidated for bitcoin. Dec 2nd: Numerous government agencies and private organizations open new lawsuits against Trump. Dec 14th: Trump is reported to be transported to his hotel in Palm by medical units. An authentic but highly suspicious photo of Trump in an iron lung is circulated to the media. Dec 15th: Pence flies down to see Trump. Dec 21st: Markets crash and Trading curbed. European market flutter heavily. Dec 22nd: Markets crash and Trading curbed. Global Markets become erratic. Bitcoin climbs. Dec 23nd: Markets crash and Trading curbed. Global Markets crash. Bitcoin climbs. Dec 24th: President Pence pardons Donald J Trump. States that all federal efforts must be employeed moving the world forward. Public demand impeachment. Dec 26th: President Pence makes public announcement that he will work with anyone to get the US back on track. Signs several Democrat bills that have been fast tracked by McConnell. Jan 11th: Second batch of Joint bills are put on Pence desk and signed. Economy has already turned back and Covid Vaccine Distribution begins in 6 weeks. The ceo's of all major retail pharmacies are invited to speak. They announce they will be the authorized distributors of the vaccine. The cost to the consumer will be $3. In odd fashion the ceo of Walgreens re-approaches the live TV mic and announces that Walgreens will cover the cost of the vaccines administered at their locations for the first two weeks. Public still cry for impeachment but Democratic are apathetic to pursue as Pence continues to play ball. July 4th, 2031: The Trump organization announces the passing of Donald J. Trump at the age of 85. Cause of death Stroke. Family releases photos the former President taken only weeks before with his new korean wife, Ji-eun. He appeared in good health and happiness in the multiple images.
I'm running for the CEO of Reddit™. I support LGBT rights, pot, net-neutrality and oppose the NSA, TSA, Comcast; and , am a girl btw ;). I also happen to be a long-time Bitcoin enthusiast. I'd love your support in the upcoming election, 1 upcrow = 1 prayer
I have Insomnia so I summoned The Sandman to help me sleep.
NoSleep. Ironically, I am posting this to NoSleep. You are here to read stories so scary that they will keep you up all night, I am here because I can’t fucking sleep. I haven’t slept in 3 days, and I can’t even remember the last time I got real sleep. The kind where you go to sleep and stay asleep. The kind where you naturally drift off to a relaxing sleep and not your body forcibly shutting itself down against its own will. So I am sorry if I ramble some, but I can’t help but laugh at the irony of this being on no sleep. Is that funny to you too, or just to me because I am too tired to be rational? I have real insomnia. The kind where people think you are insane, and to be honest, they aren’t wrong. I have had it since I was in college, but it has only gotten worse and worse. I can't even remember the last time I slept. Wait? I told you that already. I’ve been to a sleep specialist. I’ve been on every sleeping pill you can think of. Melatonin, no caffeine, no naps, Ambien, Sonata, Lunesta, silenor, antidepressants, Seroquel, Ativan, benzos, you name it, I have taken more than they recommended. Still no relief or sleep. I know, you are not reading this to read the ramblings of a madman who hasn’t slept in days. You are here because you want a scary story. I’ve got one for you. I think it is real. To be honest, when you haven’t had a real night's sleep in months, dreams and reality start to become one big blur. The story starts about 6 months ago, maybe? It was still winter and the virus was not a big deal yet. I remember that much for sure. I had been up for days when a commercial came on for an over the phone psychic reading. If a doctor couldn’t help, maybe a spiritual advisor could. No, I didn’t need a psychic, what I needed was a hypnotist. You have seen them before, they can just snap their fingers and you fall asleep instantly! This is the answer to all of my prayers. It was a scam. They had me lay down and close my eyes, then they softly started talking while I tuned out. When I woke up, she said when I go to sleep at night to relax and listen to a youtube channel that softly plays music and tells you to relax. It didn’t work at all except that every time I listen to soft background music I get the strong urge to make a grilled cheese sandwich, which is weird because I had not had one since I was maybe 9. I think she just hypnotized me to crave grilled cheese. She probably invests in the Big Cheese Industry and makes money by making people crave grilled cheese. What a waste of money. So much for that idea. The next night I still couldn’t sleep. I decided to watch my feel-good movie: Back to the Future. During the movie, Marty goes back in time to 1955 and there is a part where a song comes on, you hear the unmistakable BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUMMMMMMM! MR. SANDMAN! BRING ME A DREAM! (That song will be stuck in your head for the rest of the day. I’m not sorry.) When I heard the song, I started to boil over in rage. Maybe it was from the lack of sleep, or maybe I am just insane, but I picked up the remote and threw it into the LED screen breaking the tv. I screamed, “THAT IS THE MOTHER FUCKER WHO HAS CURSED ME! THE FUCKING SANDMAN! I AM GOING TO FIND HIM AND KILL HIM!” This went on for longer than I am willing to admit, but you get the point. The Sandman was my enemy. The one who is supposed to deliver us into sleep every night had decided to stop visiting me. What had I ever done to him to make him skip me every night not allowing me to sleep? The Sandman was to blame. The Sandman was going to have to answer for these wrongs. I was determined to find a way to confront him and give him a piece of my mind. I just had to figure out how the hell you could find or trap it. At this point, I don't care if The Sandman is God himself, I was going to find him.. I thought about it for a while and decided based on movies and books, the way to call a god to you is to summon it. Sounds simple enough, Let’s do it. Another long story short, putting candles in a circle and yelling I SUMMON YOU SANDMAN! Doesn’t work. Again, I was back on the internet looking for someone to help me. After talking to someone I was given the email of an African Witch Doctor named Mrs. Fatima. I emailed her and she agreed to help me if I send her bitcoin. She even offered to come out for more money, but screw that, I can do it myself. Why the hell does everything have to be so difficult? Can’t people just take a credit card like the rest of the world? Always extra steps for some weird-ass digital currency crap. Screw it, I am willing to try anything at this point. I sent her the bitcoin. Whatever the hell that is. It is expensive, I can tell you that much. After she got the money, she replied to my email with detailed instructions and a warning. She could help me summon The Sandman, but advised against it. Summoning a dead person is dangerous, summoning a demon is disastrous, summing a God is deadly. I thought about it for less than a moment and decided to do it. What is the worst that can happen? I die and am in an endless uninterrupted sleep for eternity? Sounds like heaven to me. Under her instructions, I waited until 2 am the following night. You can do it anytime, but the barrier between the spirit realm and the mortal world is the thinnest in the early morning hours when people are sleeping. She advised to go somewhere secluded like in the middle of the woods since it would be desolated and more likely to work. I am doing it in my bedroom, it gets the same amount of girls in it as a desolated forest. Lucky for me, I also need the blood of a virgin, so I got that covered too! Just joking, I don’t need blood. The first thing I needed to do was draw a large circle in chalk. The circle had to be complete and above all else, not broken. The circle is the doorway between realms, if it was not complete it would not work. It also acts as an invisible wall to keep the spirit contained once you summon it. Keep the circle complete at all times. I drew a circle on my hardwood floor. Easy. The next step was to light 5 red candles drawing a pentagram star. They have to be red because the devil is red and we are practicing devil magic, that’s my explanation, not hers. Inside the circle, I was to fill it with sand. If you are summoning The Sandman, you need sand? That was all I needed. Some chalk, candles, a secluded spot, and sand. I was closer than I thought earlier. Next, the hard part, summoning a god. The first step is to clear your mind and meditate. Most people have a hard time with this, but I have been meditating for years. They said it would help me sleep, it doesn’t. Don’t waste your time. The next step is to concentrate on the circle, opening the pathway in your mind. Like imagining it disappearing or opening it like a door? When your mind is clear, envision the one you are summoning. Do I just imagine what I think he looks like in my head? It’ll have to work. When you feel the energy start to peak, only then can you summon the spirit into the realm. Call out to the spirit you desire and demand it’s presence. Do not ask. Demand it. This is your world and you must stay in control at all times. If you give up control, the spirit will be able to take control and possibly hurt or kill you. If you do everything right, you will have summoned the spirit. Let’s do this. I have a bone to pick with that asshole Sandman. The circle is drawn, the candles are lit, and sand is in the circle. I turned off the lights for good measure, it wasn’t in the instructions, but it makes for a better dramatic effect. I closed my eyes and cleared my mind. I imagined the circle in my mind as an empty white space, a void, a door, then I imagined a portal like in the video game with a blue glowing loop. Next, I imagined The Sandman. Was he a human figure who carried sand, or a God made of sand? I kept trying back and forth, and everything in between before I finally settled on a spirit outlined in the sand. I held my concentration on The Sandman and the opening of the portal. It felt like nothing was happening when suddenly everything changed. My eyes were shut but I could feel the energy start to build in the room. It felt like a strong storm was blowing on the outside of the house. I couldn’t physically feel the force, but I could feel the pressure growing and growing. Finally, I felt the energy reach its crescendo like something was trying to push itself through the circle into my room. It’s time to open the gate. “I OPEN THE PATHWAY AND DEMAND YOUR PRESENCE SANDMAN! THE DOOR IS OPEN AND I ORDER YOU TO APPEAR BEFORE ME! I felt resistance trying to pull energy back from the door, not wanting to obey. “SANDMAN! APPEAR BEFORE ME NOW!” The energy in the room seemed to explode out of the circle. I opened my eyes to see the sand turning in a tornado inside the circle high above my head. I gasped in shock, wondering if I was dreaming. This couldn’t be real. Suddenly the tornado dissolved and the sand formed into a figure with red eyes staring down at me. “WHAT MORTAL DARES TO SUMMON ME!” He roared. “WHO HAS MADE SUCH THE MISTAKE TO SUMMON A GOD!” I may have made a mistake. The thing is, spirits and especially Gods, do not like it when mortals summon them. They have to come if you summon them, and that pisses them off. They are over there doing ghost and god stuff and get interrupted by people who can’t even walk through a wall. So if you do ever try this, just expect the ghost or demon or god to be in a pissy mood when they come. It is understandable when you think about it. I looked up at the god, not backing down, and responded “I did.” Sand swirled around The Sandman as he looked at me in disbelief. “You are The Sandman, right?” I yelled at him. “You are the god of sleep, the god of dreams, right?” “I am,” it growled. “Then why the fuck can I not sleep?” I said. “It has been years and I am stuck awake for days at a time. Why have you done this to me?” A deep laugh came from the circle. “You think I care about you, mortal? Do you think I waste my time on someone as insignificant as you or your kind? I am a god. A GOD! I don’t have time to waste being here talking to you. Release me!” “I am not going to release you until you give me what I want.” The sand settled down and it was quiet. I waited for it to respond. “You want something from a God? What do I get out of the deal? What do you have that I could possibly want?” “Give you something?” I asked. “You are the asshole who won’t let me sleep.” “I am feeling generous. We can make a deal,” it said. “I will give you the ability to sleep anytime you want” “What is the catch?” “Ahhh! The catch. Smarter than you look.” He said. “I am the God of Sleep and Dreams. You can sleep, but I will control your dreams.” ”Can’t you do that anyway?” You are the God of Dreams” “Do we have a deal or no? Answer me before I change my mind.” Damn it. I know he is playing me as a fool. Fuck it, I’ll solve my sleep problem now and worry about the catch later. “We have a deal, Sandman.” “A deal it is” he laughed. “Anytime you wish to sleep just say Mr. Sandman, Give me a dream.’ And you will be asleep in less than a minute.” “You gotta be kidding me.” “My game. My rules.” He said. “Now release me.” “You are released.” “See you in your dreams!” The energy that had filled the room evaporated into thin air, the sand fell back into the circle, the candles went dark, and The Sandman was gone. Was that real or am I hallucinating again? And damn! What even happened there? I was ready to cuss him out and he somehow took control of the encounter. Shit! Mrs. Fatima warned me it could be deadly if he took control. Then again, he made a deal and I can finally sleep. What is done is done. I blew out the candles and decided to put our deal to the test. He will allow me to sleep anytime I want, real sleep, he will just be controlling my dreams. I’ve had nightmares, what happens in the dream world is all a dream. Nothing can hurt me there. Right? It was 4:15 am. I turned off the lights, turned the fan on high, and put on some calming music and prepared to lay in bed awake for hours on end. I said the magic words As soon as I closed my eyes, I was out like a rock. The dream started. I was back five minutes earlier saying “What happened in the dream world is all a dream. Nothing can hurt me there, right?” There was an echo repeating the same phrase back to me. That isn’t a good start. I laid down in bed, just like before and closed my eyes trying to sleep but this time no sleep came, like always. I sat there for hours trying to sleep. I meditated, listened to calm music making me crave grilled cheese, and tried to will myself to sleep. My dream self was exhausted and on the verge of tears from being unable to sleep. The Sandman’s idea of a joke is to give me insomnia in my dreams so I couldn’t escape it. Funny joke, but as long as I wake up refreshed I don’t care. I looked at the clock and it was 7:45 and the sun was up or would be if I didn’t have the windows blacked out. Too exhausted to get up I laid in bed and prayed for sleep. A moment later, the red candles flickered to life in a star pattern, the room went cold, then the sand started to swirl up into the air. The Sandman appeared in the circle. My body stiffened, I couldn’t move a muscle, not even to close my eyes. Is this what sleep paralysis feels like? I thought back to my email with Mrs. Fatima and remembered as long as the circle was complete he would be stuck inside. “That is only true when you’re awake. You’re in my world now,” he laughed as he floated across the circle to my bedside. “You brought me to your world, now I have you in mine. A deal is a deal.” Ah shit. I knew taking his deal was a bad idea. Never negotiate with a god. You will never come out ahead. I tried to answer him but I was still paralyzed. “Do you know the legend of The Sandman? The original story? The real story?” He stood over me. Everyone knows the legend. He comes at night, sprinkles sand in your eyes so you will sleep well and have good dreams. You wake up with sand in your eyelashes. “Wrong!” He yelled. “That is a story told much later after I left the mortal world to stop people from fearing me. You are about to find out the real legend of The Sandman. I laid in bed unable to move, my eyes held open by some imaginary force, staring at him in fear. He held out his hand in front of my face and blew. I felt the wind on my face followed by the sand. The awful awful sand. Unable to close my eyes the sand blanketed my eyes. I could feel every grain of sand stick to my eyes. Finally, I had control of my eyes again and started to blink uncontrollably. Each blink the sand grinded deeper and deeper into my eyeballs and eye socket. Each blink felt like shards of glass cutting my eyes. My eyes became watery and started to tear up but it wasn’t tears but blood leaking down my face. The pain engulfed my face but I couldn’t move, only involuntary blinking trying to clear the sand from my eyes. Each blink the sand cut farther and farther into my eyes. The pain became excruciating like someone had stuck a red hot fire poker in each eye. I wanted to scream out but nothing else worked on my body. Then the pain disappeared. I assumed I had blacked out or went unconscious but that doesn’t happen in dreams and I wasn’t that lucky. Instead, I felt a weird sensation on my eyeballs then the feeling of water being poured into my eye. When it stopped, my vision started to appear again, blurry at first but clearing. I could see a sandy palm and fingers like I was being carried in The Sandman’s hand. “The legend of The Sandman isn’t that he comes to put sand in your eyes to help you sleep, he comes to put sand in your eyes to steal eyeballs of kids who stay up too late.” He said. “I’m making an exception for you.” He opened his palm and I could see my lifeless body, still in bed, not moving, the face covered in blood with empty holes as eye sockets. I am seeing myself from my own eyeballs. What the fuck, even for a dream this is fucked up. Luckily the pain had stopped, for now. “Do you know what happens next in the legend? Do you know what I do with the eyeballs I steal” He asked like I could to respond. I didn’t know the answer but I knew I was about to find out. “Right you are. Close your eyes, It’’s a surprise.” He laughed. “Get it? You can’t! You have no eyelids. Hahaha” Excuse me for not thinking the joke is funny, being the butt of the joke. “He pointed my eyes toward the moon and asked, “Do you like The Dark Side of the Moon?” What the hell does the Pink Floyd album have to do with anything? Who doesn’t like it? “Great. Let’s take a trip there. You’re dreaming so we can be there in, what would you say, a blink of an eye?” Fucking funny. A moment later, we were on the dark side of the moon. It looked like the moon, but dark. He walked into a crater and I started to hear cries. Not like human cries, more like an animal cry. Not just one animal but a bunch. The cries got louder and louder. Even in a dream, I knew something bad was about to happen. We finally arrived at what I would call a nest. Not your typical earth nest, but an enclosure that held a bunch of giant ugly bird-like featherless babies. Not dinosaur big, but big enough. Each bird-like creature was lifting its beak up in the air crying for its parents to bring it back food. What the fuck kind of food was available on the moon or in space is beyond my understanding, but that’s exactly what my eyes were seeing. “After I steal the eyeballs, I bring them back here and feed them to the birds. In your world, you may throw bread out to the birds for a treat. In my world, I feed them your eyes.” Fuck. Can I wake up now? I really don’t feel like being eaten by a giant alien baby bird thing. “The legend says I fed them to my children, but that is the part they got wrong.” He said. “Sweet dreams, prince.” He tossed my eyes into the air into the waiting mouth of one of these creatures. I saw it’s beak close as my eyeballs exploded into a gooey mess. The dream ended and I woke up in a panic. I tried to open my eyes but they were sealed shut. I lifted my hands, happy I could move again, and felt my eyelids crusted over with sand. I cleared them the best I could but needed a warm compress to clean all the salt out. When I finally opened my eyes, they hurt. Everything had happened in the dream, but somehow my eyes felt sore. I thought back to what I said and heard in my dream, “It is just a dream, nothing can hurt me there.” It is true, I wasn’t really hurt, but I’ve never woken up feeling pain I got from a dream. What is going on? Still, If I dreamed, that means I slept! A nightmare isn’t so bad if I get real sleep. The dream felt like it lasted hours, a few more nights of this and I will have a somewhat normal sleep schedule and feel rested. I looked at the clock to see it was 4:30. I slept 12 hours and 15 minutes. Amazing! I opened the door to my room and walked into the kitchen and it was still dark. That can’t be right. It should be 4:30 pm, the middle of the afternoon. Did I sleep for 24 hours straight? I looked at my phone and saw the date. My heart dropped. I had only slept for 15 minutes. It is like dreams take place in another dimension where time doesn’t exist. The Sandman was able to torture me for hours in dream time while allowing me to sleep for a few minutes. I cried. Seriously, I cried like a baby. He held up his end of the bargain, I can fall asleep any time I want to, except now I am afraid to go to sleep. Everytime I fall asleep, he takes me away to his realm and gives me nightmare after nightmare. Every dream is one where he does something horrible to me and my dream self feels every bit of excruciating pain. And he never allows me to sleep more than an hour at the most. I eventually accepted my fate. He is going to torture me, but it is all a dream. I will wake up feeling mostly normal. Then things changed. It is like he knew I had stopped fighting, so he found a new way to hurt me. Instead of hurting me in my dreams, he started to make me watch him hurt people I loved in their dreams. I didn’t think it was real until I heard from my sister about how my niece has been having terrible nightmares and refusing to go to sleep. When she described her dreams, I already knew, because I was there too. That has been my life for the past however many months. Instead of trying to take medicine or listen to music or having The Sandman put me to sleep, I try to use my insomnia to stay awake for as long as my body will withstand it. I drink coffee and energy drinks, I take adderall, but eventually sleep always comes, even if for short periods. No matter how hard you fight it, your body will always sleep, and the Sandman will be there waiting on me.
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